But I didn’t know how bad it really was. This story shocked even me.
The office has been pretty quiet lately (knock on wood) so I decided to catch up on scanning some old payroll stuff into the server. It was something that I had been putting off because I knew that there were records from the days of Crazy that I didn’t really want to touch. But I needed to get it done.
Here’s what I knew before: There were a string of employees who came in, worked and then left before I was foolish enough to stay at this place for four years.
Here’s what I know now: I started in April of 2009. Between the summer of 2008 and when I was hired there were 6 employees who worked for about a week, got “sick” and then never showed up again. Someone should have noticed this pattern.
In addition to the time sheets and copies of paychecks, there were detailed descriptions of the week or two preceding their departure. Here are a couple of examples:
Let me translate some of these phrases from Crazy Speak:
“Mom calls”– Her mother finally returned my calls because I had been incessantly calling all morning.
“No cultures” – I called Lab Corp and Quest to make sure she had actually had her cultures done.
“It hurts to swallow. It doesn’t hurt to talk” – I finally talked to her on the phone, asked her way too many questions and I seriously doubt she is telling the truth.
“She never had strep throat.” – I called her primary care doctor and he wouldn’t answer any of my questions, so I am making this assumption.
This one is a little more self-explanatory. It simply explains that she is a naturally suspicious person who has way too much time on her hands.
This is also had she fired people: she let them work all day then handed them a letter on the way out. Although, to be quite honest, she never had to fire that many employees. They always quit before she got the chance.
Even I pulled the “sick” trick several times throughout my employment. There were days when it was just impossible to deal with her, but I was just too desperate for money to quit.
I am fluent in Crazy Speak because not only did this happen 6 times before I started working there, it also happened at least 8 times after – none as bad as the slap incident. But that’s a 2-part story for another day.
- 16 Things a Boss Should Never Say (inc.com)