Spoiler alert: It’s my closet.
I’ve never really been fashion forward. I really try to be. I sometimes buys clothes that seem trendy, but I go to work and I come home and change into my soccer shorts and a tee-shirt or sweatpants and a sweatshirt, my ol’ standbys.
Last week I had a clothes breakdown. Every morning I woke up and dreaded getting dressed. I was late for work a lot because I just stood in front of my closet trying to pick out the outfit that I loathed the least.
Shirts were never long enough. Pants that fit me in the waist were like a hair shirt on my thighs. Pants that fit me in the legs were like limp hula hoops around my waist.
I called my mother and expressed my frustration with her. So we hit up the Dress Barn and New York & Co. We spent forever in Dress Barn trying to find a pair of pants that fit. Obviously, to get over my thighs, they had to be quite big in the hips. I even tried a pair that was supposed to be my size but literally wouldn’t go above my knees. Most pairs were big around the waist and the extra fabric formed folds like arrows that pointed directly to my nether regions.
I’ve resolved myself to wearing dresses for the better part of the summer.
A few days later we hit up the NYC store and I found pants!! I found pairs that fit me that don’t draw unnecessary attention to my lady parts. Actually, it was just one style but I got in 4 different colors. That’s a win for me.
I got more dresses too. I love dresses.
And then I purged my closet. I went though and took out everything I haven’t worn in a very long time.
This is the boneyard that is the remains of my clothes that will be taken to the Good Will Store:
Of my freshly laundered clothes? I pushed my self to the edge of my productivity. When I could have easily curled up on the couch, I started folding clothes and sorted my clothes based on my willingness to fold the shirt, shorts, pants, or sweater. Do I love this piece enough to use energy to fold it. No? To Good Will it goes.
Yes. That really happened.